WHO I WORK WITH

Individuals: I work with individuals who are struggling in their relationships, or who want to understand their internal dynamics and triggers more clearly. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), conflict coaching and other approaches I work with clients experiencing emotional overwhelm, stuck patterns, and challenges in romantic, workplace, or community relationships.

Couples and Partners: I support couples and romantic partners who want help with conflict and communication, intimacy and sex, rupture and repair, parenting, infidelity, and navigating major transitions such as separation or divorce. I provide relationship coaching and mediation to help couples to slow things down, build safety, and create space for honoring difference and finding new ways to relate.

Families and Groups: I work with families and groups who are experiencing conflict or breakdowns in communication, or who simply want to try on new ways of relating. Through a combination of individual and group sessions, I help people create shared space for courageous conversations and build more mutually supportive ways of working and living together.

 HOW I WORK

My work is relational - whether that relationship is between people, or between different parts of yourself. I’m trained and certified as a mediator and as a Level Two Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner, a parts-based approach that helps people understand and work with their inner dynamics in a compassionate, non-judgmental way.

In sessions, we slow things down, get curious about patterns and reactions, and build more capacity for choice and clarity. With couples and families, this often means creating enough safety and structure to have conversations that might otherwise feel too charged or triggering. With individuals, it often means exploring emotions, impulses, and past experiences with more compassion and less self-criticism.

 I work on a private-pay basis and do not accept insurance. To ensure my services are accessible I offer a sliding scale and discuss fees during the free consultation to find a rate that feels accessible.

My approach is grounded and practical: improving the flow of communication, supporting integration across difference, and setting the stage for repair, healing, and growth.

ABOUT ME

I’m Tauno Biltsted, a certified mediator and Level Two Certified Practitioner of Internal Family Systems (IFS). I work at the intersection of coaching, mediation, and facilitation, supporting individuals, couples, families, and groups who want to heal relationships, repair conflict, and improve communication.

I live and work in New York City, where I am available for in-person sessions, however most of my practice is online. While I enjoy working in-person I am frequently surprised at the level of depth and contact there is available through online sessions.

My background includes work in social services, and I’m also a fiction and non-fiction writer. Both experiences shape how I approach my work with clients. I’m interested in how people make meaning, how patterns form over time, and how relationships - both internal and interpersonal - can get stuck, shift, and repair. I bring a lot of curiosity to my work with clients as a way to create space to hold complexity with tolerance and compassion.

My approach is non-pathologizing and collaborative. One of the things I find most compelling about IFS is that it supports the wisdom and capacity for healing and repair that exists in each person and relationship. Whether I’m working with an individual, a couple, or a family, the focus is on understanding what’s actually happening, building safety and compassion, and supporting real, sustainable change - especially in situations that have felt stuck, charged, or painful for a long time.

To schedule a free consult please fill out the contact form or reach out directly by email at builtsteady@gmail.com

“What sets Tauno apart is his ability to be fully present with each session.”

My husband and I had the privilege of working with Tauno Bilsted for eight months, and I can honestly say it was one of the most transformative experiences of our relationship. As therapists ourselves, we came to couples counseling with high expectations and a discerning eye—and Tauno exceeded them in every way.

From our very first session, Tauno established a safe, nurturing space where we could explore even the most difficult topics without fear of judgment. His tremendous knowledge of conflict resolution and Internal Family Systems (IFS) provided us with powerful tools and frameworks that we continue to use in our relationship today.

What sets Tauno apart is his ability to be fully present with each session. He listens intently, truly hearing not just our words but the deeper emotions and needs beneath them. If you're seeking a counselor who combines expertise with heart, presence with skill, and wisdom with compassion, Tauno Bilsted is a true gem.

Nadine Lucas, CAGS, LMHC, RPT
IFS Level 2 Clinician

“Tauno… brings kindness and empathy to the work he does. He is a great listener/observer, and made it possible for each of us to feel heard and seen.”

The work that my family did with Tauno had a very positive impact. The work gave us a way to talk about difficult things, old patterns of behavior and to recognize and practice how to communicate more directly.

Tauno, I think, above all brings kindness and empathy to the work he does. He is a great listener/observer, and made it possible for each of us to feel heard and seen. And to see and hear each other.

What I tell people about the work that we did with Tauno is that each member of the family felt safe with him, and that we all appreciated his approach a great deal.

Kate M

“Tauno’s skillful listening and thoughtful questioning created a guided and supported space in which I found clarity and decisiveness.”

Tauno’s facility as an engaged, nonjudgmental listener provided the space for me to parse the sticky issues that had become overwhelming and unmanageable. With tremendous calm and patience, Tauno carefully detangled knot after knot until we could look at the separate issues individually.

Tauno’s skillful listening and thoughtful questioning created a guided and supported space in which I found clarity and decisiveness. He helped me align my conflicting thoughts and feelings and in the process recover my agency in a fraught situation.

— Suzanne G, Artist/Educator

“..excellent listener and skilled at drawing out critical issues and asking the questions that lead to productive discussions.”

We reached out to Tauno to help us improve our conflict resolution skills and to equip our team with techniques and strategies for running productive meetings. Tauno spent a good deal of time before our training session listening to staff members concerns, and tailoring a program that met our needs. He is an excellent listener and skilled at drawing out critical issues and asking the kinds of questions that lead to productive discussions.

All the participants felt that they learned a great deal during the training, and one month later continued to incorporate aspects of the training into their work. Most of the participants had years of experience in running community engagement sessions, but benefitted as much as some of the newer members of the team.

Maddalena Polletta, NYC Playgrounds Program

Trust for Public Land

“Tauno facilitated our meeting, kept order, and guided conversation.”

My organization was having a lot of internal conflict. We had a very contentious election with a lot of name calling and smearing and we did not know what to do to move forward. As a “Hail Mary”, I reached out to the NY Peace Institute at the last minute and to my surprise, Tauno responded and offered his mediation services for our next meeting. Tauno facilitated our meeting, kept order, and guided conversation. I found it incredibly helpful for him to be there since I usually lead the meetings.

 Sarinya Srisakul, President

United Women Firefighters

“Tauno successfully navigated us through the process…”

Tauno mediated a conflict for us that was over 20 years old. There was a high level of mistrust and hostility between the two sides, after all this time. Tauno successfully navigated us through the process with a final resolution that allows us to move forward with a shared desire for the financial health of both organizations.

 Linda Levy, CEO

LES Peoples Federal Credit Union

To schedule a free consult please fill out the contact form or reach out directly by email at builtsteady@gmail.com